


Let These Petals Fall Where They May

by wisdomofme



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: F/M, Hanahaki Disease, Like honey you gotta be smarter than this, One-sided pining but ONLY because our boy is a himbo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-19
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:54:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27630320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wisdomofme/pseuds/wisdomofme
Summary: Purple Dahlias, similar to pink dahlias, symbolize kindness, feminine beauty and grace. They are also associated with royalty and dignity which makes them the perfect gift for someone you appreciate and admire.Flowers bloomed in Luke’s chest as he pined for Julie. It’s a shame that he would know that Julie liked him back if only he asked.
Relationships: Julie Molina/Luke Patterson
Comments: 30
Kudos: 284
Collections: oh YES





	Let These Petals Fall Where They May

**Author's Note:**

> **Hanahaki Disease**
> 
> _definition: an illness born from unrequited love, where flowers begin to grow in the patient’s lungs. They will then proceed to cough up the petals and sometimes even whole flowers. If not cured in time then the patient’s lungs will fill with flowers, and they will eventually suffocate._

Hanahaki disease wasn’t something they taught you about in class. It was an urban myth, a legend, that was only whispered about in the hallways when people were discussing who liked who.

( _My mother’s friend knew someone who died when they were young- they found tulips in his mouth_ )

Flynn had told Julie about it once, jokingly telling her to be careful as she crushed on Nick from afar. But even then, Julie had known what she felt for her classmate wasn’t love. He was kind and sweet and untouchable and the perfect target for her affections.

( _Be careful, if you fall too hard you’ll start coughing up petals_ )

But then there was Luke. The boy made of cute air with the perfect smile. Julie couldn’t convince herself that she was crushing on him like she had Nick. Not when they drew from the same pain, not when his music spoke to her in a way nothing else ever had before.

( _Make sure she loves you back, otherwise flowers will bloom in your chest and suffocate you with unrequited love_ )

But that was the catch with hanahaki disease, it required _unrequited_ love. And Julie went to his parents’ house and she gave them a song that spoke of his regret and they stood on her porch and he whispered ‘ _this is an interesting little relationship you and I have_ ’ and it was love but it wasn’t unrequited. 

It wasn’t unrequited, but he was a ghost so how could anything be?

(In hindsight Julie will realize that he whispered those words to her but she didn’t say anything back. Twenty-twenty vision doesn’t help when your eyes are closed)

Restocking the studio bathroom was an odd job that Julie had taken upon herself to complete. Now that she could touch the boys she wasn’t completely sure that they _couldn’t_ use the shower and if Reggie was as fond of them as he claimed then she wanted to make sure he could enjoy it if he got the chance. Nonetheless, the shampoo kept running out and she wasn’t sure if it was because of them or Carlos. She didn’t plan on asking.

It was the colour that caught her eye first. Purple wasn’t a colour she usually associated with the toilet so when she saw it, it gave her pause. It was only when she stepped closer that she realized what it was.

Petals. A handful of them, floating in the bottom of the toilet. 

It was an odd sight for sure, but nothing that she found awfully concerning. She shrugged and her curiosity only lingered long enough for her to hold down the flush button and watch them swirl away, her attention vanishing with them.

Luke began to cough during practice. 

It was weird, and after watching the three boys get wracked by jolts only a few days previous Julie was quick to question it.

“Are you alright?” She asked as she stopped playing mid song. Reggie and Alex stumbled to a halt on their instruments, stray notes clanging through the studio in the process.

Luke opened his mouth to answer but his words were erased by another cough. He covered his mouth with both hands, his guitar swinging with every hacking noise that escaped him, as his face flushed a strained red like blood still pumped through his veins. Then again, Julie didn’t think ghosts needed clear airways to breathe either and here Luke was. Choking.

“Luke?” Julie repeated, standing from the keyboard seat, ready to run to his side as panic began to thrum in her veins. 

But Luke waved his hand at her as his coughing gradually slowed. “I’m fine,” he wheezed, and it wasn’t reassuring in the slightest.

Julie walked around the keyboard as Alex watched from his drumkit and Reggie leant his bass against the amp. “Are you sick?” She asked. “Is this another Caleb thing?”

Luke shook his head, swallowing a few times as his flush slowly began to fade. “Some- Something just got caught in my throat.”

His reassurances didn’t do much to slow the pounding of Julie’s heart or ease the worried look on her face, and it didn’t take long for Luke to realize this.

“I’m fine, really,” he said, clearing his throat one last time. “It’s not like the jolts, I promise.”

Julie hovered in the middle of the room, uncertain. Luke looked fine now, the red of his face almost gone, and he was saying all the right things but something still felt off. Luke began to fiddle with his guitar as Julie turned to Alex and Reggie, searching their faces for answers but finding nothing.

“Don’t stress Julie,” Alex said, a comforting smile on his lips. “He’s had a couple of coughing fits since the night at the Orpheum, we think it might just be because Luke had to fight Caleb’s pull so hard.”

She still wasn’t entirely convinced, but Reggie slung an arm over her shoulder and squeezed her against his side. She couldn’t stop the smile that slipped on her lips at the hug, it was nice to be able to touch them now.

“Don’t worry Julie,” Reggie said. “We’re a family, we look out for each other. And Alex and I have _tons_ of practice looking after Luke.”

“Hey!” Luke’s head snapped up at Reggie’s comment, his fingers sliding from the strings with a _twang_. “I don’t need ‘looking after’.”

“Please,” Reggie scoffed, his nose wrinkling in disbelief. “Don’t you remember that time you sprained your ankle in freshman year? Alex, Bobby and I had to follow you around to make sure you didn’t ditch your crutches.”

Luke went to object, his mouth agape as Reggie spilled his past, but Alex cut him off with a laugh and continued without even looking at him once. “Or that time he had that fever while we were camping and we had to babysit him all weekend.”

Reggie’s arm dropped from Julie’s shoulder, already shaking with laughter as he whirled on her. “Julie, you should’ve seen it- he kept waking up in the night, crying because he thought he was melting.”

Julie giggled softly to herself as Luke began to complain, something about how what they were saying wasn’t fair, but she wasn’t paying attention. She let her eyes linger on Alex and Reggie as they started speaking over each other even as they backed each other up and she couldn’t tear her eyes from the smiles on their faces. Even Luke looked like he was seconds away from bursting into laughter as Alex poofed to his side just so he could jab him in the chest to make a point. Reggie was right, they really were a family.

“Come on Julie,” Luke whined, ripping her from her thoughts as he hopped to her side. “Help me out here.”

He wasn’t even attempting to hide his smile now, his eyes shining with mirth even as he tugged on her sleeve in a plea for defense. That was hardly fair, Julie thought as her heart softened under his gaze. How was she supposed to focus on anything when he looked at her like that?

Had she been a little more focused she may have noticed crushed petals Luke had smeared on the side of his pants. Had she been a little more focused she may have noticed a lot more.

Between quiet confessions and teasing laughter, he would forgive her for it later.

“Do you have a favourite kind of flower, Julie?”

He stunned her with the question in the middle of the night, his head tilted back so he could look up at her from his seat against the side of her bed.

“Dahlias,” she answered, and he waited like he wanted to know more so she continued. “My mum- well, they were her favourite type of flower, and now they remind me of her.”

Luke’s lips silently formed the word ‘dahlia’ like he was trying to memorize it and she couldn’t help but smile softly. It was sweet that he was interested in learning what she liked. If she was being honest, she wanted to learn more about him too.

Julie wiggled slightly further down the bed so she laid just to the side of where he sat, her head hanging over the edge of the mattress as she snuggled deeper under her dooner.

“What about you?” She asked, causing Luke’s head to jerk towards her as she captured his attention once again. “What’s your favourite flower?”

He laughed lightly, a stunned sound that quickly transformed into coughing, like he had inhaled too fast. He turned away as he coughed into his fist, sparing only a moment to wave off Julie’s awkward help. It didn’t freak her out anymore but that didn’t mean she wasn’t still worried about it. Eventually it died down and he rubbed his hand against his shirt as he grinned up at her.

“Sorry,” he said, shrugging like it was no big deal and she couldn’t quite drag her eyes off that lopsided smile. “You surprised me. I don’t think anyone’s ever asked me what my favourite flower is.”

Julie mock gasped, taking the chance to drag her gaze back to his eyes but, honestly, it hardly helped her poor racing heart. “No one? Ever?”

Luke rolled his eyes, shaking his head as he turned his gaze to the roof. He paused for a moment before hesitantly asking, “Is lavender a flower?”

It was cute in a way Julie hadn’t expected. That he was so wholly unprepared for this question but still wanted to be honest. He still wanted to share a part of himself with her. But that was a bit much to say to the ghost boy you had feelings for.

Instead she said, “Yeah. I can’t say that was the answer I expected from you though.”

He grinned, his entire face lighting up as all of his focus centered on her. Julie felt warmth rush through her body and she wished for the millionth time that he was just a boy she met at school. A boy that would hover around her locker, who would offer to carry her books to class because he never took any, a boy that would lace his fingers with hers as they walked down the hallway just because he liked having her close.

But he was a ghost and, ability to touch or not, that was just a fantasy.

“My mum used to have these weird bags of dried lavender that she would _insist_ on putting in my drawers,” Luke said and Julie forced herself to blink, to pull herself away from her thoughts and focus on this heartfelt boy in front of her. He wasn’t quite looking at her anymore, his gaze drifting back to the ceiling as he reminisced. “She said they stopped moths from eating your clothes but I think she just didn’t like how I smelled.”

Julie had to muffle a laugh with her hand, but he still heard it. His eyes snapped to her and he beamed at the sound, like he was proud that he had managed to wrangle it from her. Julie’s heart fluttered in her chest and she wondered what it would be like to kiss him until that smug expression vanished.

“You know that was one of the things I missed after running away.” He said it like an afterthought as his eyes lingered on her. “My clothes stopped smelling like lavender.”

It was a melancholy way to end the night but Julie couldn’t help but feel pleased that she knew him a little better now. And if the next day Julie forced Flynn to help her scour the mall for dried lavender, she didn’t tell him. And if, the next time Luke pulled a shirt out of his bag, he noticed that it smelt familiar, he didn’t mention it.

He didn’t mention the tickling in the back of his throat or the first whole flower he coughed up moments later either.

Julie would like it to go on record that she didn’t _intend_ to eavesdrop. 

The band had decided to have a late afternoon practice despite it being a Saturday. The boys said that they wanted to meet up with Willie, a ghost that may have or may not have been Alex’s boyfriend depending on which of the two vastly contrasting reactions Julie believed. Julie was happy with the arrangement because she had homework to finish and, with the boys gone, she was guaranteed zero distractions. The only problem was that the ‘zero distractions’ method worked a little too well and Julie found herself with nothing to do an entire hour early.

With an hour to kill, Julie figured she may as well make the most of the empty studio and get some writing done. It would’ve been wonderful, but she quickly found out that the studio _wasn’t_ empty.

“What are you going to do?” Julie had only been a moment from pushing open the studio door when Reggie’s voice rang through. She paused, a little confused that they were back so early and a little concerned by the uncertainty in Reggie’s voice.

“I’m not going to do anything,” Luke replied. He sounded exhausted and the concern Julie felt began to swell. She wouldn’t usually loiter while they were talking but she had been so worried these past few weeks and, well… It wasn’t like they hadn’t done this to her.

So Julie pushed herself onto her tiptoes and looked in the window.

Reggie and Luke were sprawled on the sofa, both of them looking a mix of tired and miserable, as Alex paced in front of them. Neither of the boys on the couch seemed to be paying him any mind though.

“You’re just going to let it get worse then?” Alex said, pausing his pacing and his hands gesturing like it would help him get the point across. “You can stop all this, Willie said-”

“Yeah, yeah.” Luke waved him off, staring at the ceiling and not moving from the couch. “He ‘knows a guy’.”

“And remember how well that went last time?” Reggie muttered. There was a moment of silence before Alex and Luke made a noise that sounded like reluctant agreement. 

“It doesn’t matter. You heard the side effects,” Luke continued, finally sitting up properly as a frown marred his face. “I’m not willing to sacrifice my feelings for-”

It had been a good run, but Julie’s ankle finally gave way and she slipped against the door, her elbow knowing against the hardwood. She didn’t even get a chance to blink before there was a flash of light and Luke was standing in front of her. His brows were furrowed so deeply they almost looked like a singular line and his eyes were focused directly on her, anger clear within. He looked like a grumpy bunny and it took all of Julie’s willpower to not say the thought aloud.

“Eavesdropping?” The accusation stung but he wasn’t wrong..

“I’m sorry,” she stumbled for an answer, too caught up in how she had never seen him this mad before. “I didn’t want to interrupt and I was worried-”

“A bit hypocritical, isn’t it Julie?” He snapped and Julie took a step back. He followed her, not giving her the space to flee from his glare. “All that talk of boundaries, but whenever you want to snoop-”

“Woah there!” Reggie’s hand closed over Luke’s shoulder and tugged him back. Luke looked irritated but he didn’t resist and Julie couldn’t be more grateful for Reggie’s intervention. “He doesn’t mean it like that.”

It was nice of Reggie to say but she couldn’t really believe him when Luke was standing there, glaring at the concrete. She swallowed and nodded, feeling like she had really stepped into something she shouldn’t have.

Then Alex walked out of the studio and clapped Luke on the shoulder. “How about we skip practice today?” He suggested, his eyes darting between Luke’s slowly crumbling demeanor and Julie’s guilty expression. “Meet back tomorrow morning?”

It was a good plan, one they all agreed to happily. 

After a restless night of sleep the first thing Julie did the next morning was apologize, her heart heavy as she spoke. She could tell that their words hadn’t sat well with Luke either as he hovered awkwardly, accepting her apology before she had even finished speaking.

“I mean, you forgave me when I was going through your stuff,” he said, his voice sincere and his smile a little guilty. “How about a truce- no more snooping?”

He held out his pinky and Julie grinned as she looped her’s through it.

“No more snooping,” Julie agreed as they shook, her relief clear in her voice.

It was nice that they were back to normal, but that didn’t change the fact that now she knew something was wrong with Luke and, worst of all, he didn’t want her to know about it.

Everything came to a head the next time Julie went to the studio to restock the bathroom.

The bathroom light was on as she entered the studio but the bathroom door was ajar. It was foolish in hindsight but she honestly just assumed that Carlos had forgotten to turn the light off. She didn’t realize how wrong she was until she was standing in the doorway.

Luke was hunched over the toilet, coughing like he was trying to dislodge his lungs from his throat. He didn’t notice her at first but, as his coughs grew weaker, his eyes squinted open and caught sight of her.

“Julie?” He croaked, his eyes scrunching shut and a moan slipping from his lips as he recognized her. “No. Go aw-”

He didn’t even get a chance to finish before he started to cough again. It shook his body like an earthquake, his hands gripping the sides of the porcelain bowl as he squeezed his eyes closed and turned back to the toilet. He wasn’t fast enough to stop Julie from seeing the tears that welled in his eyes and he couldn’t hide the way his body lurched with each choking cough. His head sunk closer and closer to the bowl as his knuckles turned white from the strain but Julie couldn’t move from the doorway. She felt like she was frozen in horror, like she was watching some gruesome scene from a movie play out in front of her and she had no power to change it.

The first petal that fell from his mouth snapped her out of her daze.

Julie lunged to his side, falling to her knees next to him and pressing a comforting hand against his back. She wasn’t sure if being so close was making it better or worse, but Luke couldn’t say anything as a handful of purple petals began to spill from his lips. His coughing didn’t ease for a moment, instead growing worse as the petals splattered against the side of the toilet bowl. Julie could only watch in morbid fascination as Luke continued to retch and choke and lurch until one single perfect flower fell from his mouth.

A dahlia.

Her heart clenched in her chest as his rattling coughs slowed until they stopped but the dread in her stomach kept growing.

“What’s going on?” She whispered, fear lacing her words and her fingers curling in the back of his shirt as she stared at Luke in horror. “No more secrets- tell me what’s happening.”

He groaned and pushed himself to his feet, the coughing fit apparently subsiding now that his throat was clear of _an entire flower_. Julie let her hand fall from his back as she stood and followed him back into the main room of the studio. Luke flopped against the couch and Julie hovered, wondering if he was going to fight her or tell her to leave. But then his shoulders sagged and he just looked so tired.

“Have you heard of hanahaki disease?” He asked without looking at her. He didn’t give her a chance to respond before he continued. “It’s not.... great. But the good news is that apparently hanahaki can’t kill you when you’re already dead.” Luke tried to flash her a smile but it ended up as a grimace. “It’s just _really_ uncomfortable.”

Hanahaki, she knew that word. Julie tried to dig through her memory for an explanation but she must have taken too long for Luke as he nervously waited for her to say something. Anything.

“Which means it’s fine-” He blurted after a silence that lasted too long, his fingers fiddling with his shirt as he tried not to shuffle in his seat. Julie tried her best not to stare but her eyes got caught on a stray purple petal that fluttered from the collar of his shirt as he shook it. “Fine that you don’t… you know. I’m fine like this- and I don’t expect anything of you.” Luke’s gaze darted nervously around the room before resting on his hands as they tapped together urgenty. Julie was so unused to seeing Luke without his familiar confidence that she nearly missed his next words, spoken with the quiet intimacy that had revealed his feelings to her in the first place. “I’m just really glad that we’re friends and I don’t want to let my feelings for you ruin that.”

And, like that, Julie remembered.

_Hanahaki disease, a disease caused by severe one-sided love._

“You really don’t know?”

She hadn’t meant to say the words aloud but they slipped out as a whisper, just loud enough that they made Luke freeze. Like he was fighting against the pull of a magnet, Luke slowly let his gaze drift back up to her face. She wasn’t sure what he saw there but whatever it was it caused him to stand back up. Then it was only a matter of one, two, three steps and he was standing right in front of her. He was so close, that was all she could think as he stared at her, taking in each and every inch of her expression like it would reveal to him the answers to all the questions he wanted to ask. His green eyes shone in the light as his mouth opened, closed, and then tried again.

“Know what?”

There was a breath of hope in his voice, so fragile it could be shattered by a mere touch, but it was there. Julie swallowed, her eyes falling to Luke’s chest but he was shifting even closer now. One of his hands reached out for hers and this time, _this time_ , they laced together like that was exactly where they belonged.

And all of a sudden Julie felt indignant.

“Alex is right,” she muttered, heat rising up the back of her neck and warming her cheeks as she valiantly worked to not look at him. “You really need to work on reading people.” She frowned down at their joined hands like they were the ones at fault. “It’s not fair that I was aware enough to realize you had feelings for me, but you’re so slow that I have to actually say that I love you-”

Luke’s lips caught hers. They tasted like the bitter tang of crushed flower petals but she didn’t really care. Julie’s eyes drifted shut, her hands reaching up to grab hold of the front of his shirt to steady her, to keep her grounded. But the moment her fingers curled in the fabric he was pulling away, drawing an unhappy whine from her lips. He didn’t go far.

“Say it again,” he whispered, his breath brushing against her cheek and he could’ve asked for the moon and she would’ve begged the stars to drag it down.

“I love you,” she repeated and his lips were against hers again, his arms wrapping around her waist and pulling her closer as laughter bubbled in her chest and joy bloomed in her heart.

According to the rumours, there were two ways to cure hanahaki disease. The first was a spell or a surgery, depending on who you asked and what story they told. But the cost was always the same.

( _They say she came back changed. She still loved but everything she had felt for him had been removed from her chest alongside the roots of the flowers. He was a stranger to her now, their years of friendship a numb crevasse in her heart_ )

The second cure wasn’t as easy as a spell. It required luck and love and for the universe to align in just the right way for the object of your affections to honestly return your feelings. Most of all it required you to see past your own self doubt and accept that you were worthy of being loved in return.

( _And the plant withered in his lungs, the pain vanishing with it, as he kissed her again and again. The flowers died in his chest and his heart pounded as he pulled her in for one, just one more kiss._

_Julie loved him back_ )

**Author's Note:**

> First off- I know I should be updating Reasons but here's another oneshot because I have ZERO self-control. Secondly, shout out to my Mum (who is definitely reading this). I hope you aren't offended about the lavender bag thing, because that is true and as a child I did think that it was because I smelled. And finally...
> 
> ... Finally, my sister and lovely editor, [@darlinggod](https://darlingggod.tumblr.com/), wanted me to let you all know that she pitched the idea (The Idea That Never Made It Into The Fic) that Luke ATE the flowers afterward because he didn't want Julie to find them. Be thankful I vetoed that.
> 
> As always, if you want to chat about this fic or just with me in general you can find me on [tumblr](https://wisdomofme.tumblr.com/) or comment below! I love hearing from you all!


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